


they say you smile all day, they say the world becomes beautiful

by inmylife



Series: i'll find you [4]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Maybe - Freeform, Sickfic, This is really self indulgent, fluff sort of i dont know, for a bit, in which jaehwan has Parental Feelings, jaehwan has adventures in babysitting, listen guys we all know i have no idea how tags work, yell at me in the comments if i have overstepped things ig, you can skip the other two i guess, you have to have to HAVE TO read at least climb aboard explorers before this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife
Summary: jinyoung is sick. jaehwan babysits.





	they say you smile all day, they say the world becomes beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> i am going to warn you guys right now that i go into semi-detail about scarring and things of that sort i'll be completely honest i was pretty torn when writing this because i don't know as much as i should and also i just feel like crap making my characters (especially jinyoung...especially small five year old jinyoung) hurt but i also did my research about TBIs and felt like i should show that and maybe wanted go into detail a little i guess because everything i've said before was really vague so!!! if that sort of stuff makes you uncomfy for whatever reason skip the part right after they're in the bathroom
> 
> also jinyoung throws up so if that squicks you out then... listen im writing a sad five year old w the flu so i guess just... GOD I DONT KNOW HELP
> 
> title is from what is love by twice

Jaehwan is at a gig. 

 

Given, it's a really shitty gig. The club is dingy, the drinks (as Jaehwan knows from experience) are overrated, and the owner is a jackass. But it's a gig. And Jaehwan needs money, and Sewoon is sick - it's flu season - and Jaehwan is who they have on backup, so. He's here. 

 

He and Minhyun, because of Minhyun's dad duties and demanding job and Jaehwan's own weird hours, generally try to squeeze dates in on weeknights at Minhyun's house. It's Wednesday, so - despite it being 3 in the morning - Jaehwan isn't initially surprised when, on his five-minute break between sets, Minhyun texts him. 

 

**Minhyunnie hyung~:** Can you come over? 

 

It's the following text that shocks him. 

 

**Minhyunnie hyung~:** Like, tomorrow? During the day?

**Minhyunnie hyung~:** I'm so sorry to spring this on you, but Jinyoung has the flu and he can't go to school, and I have work. 

**Minhyunnie hyung~:** And I can't leave him with Dongho because I can't drop a sick kid into a daycare, and Minki and Aron are both working… 

 

**Me:** on my way. 

 

Minhyun needs to sleep, and if he's texting Jaehwan about Jinyoung being sick at three in the morning, he's certainly not doing that. Jaehwan apologizes to the owner - family emergency, he's so sorry - texts Longguo that he won't need a ride home, and takes the train out. And walks the four blocks to Minhyun's house. 

 

**Me:** come out i'm at your door

 

Nothing happens after five minutes, so Jaehwan tries the door - locked - and then fishes around in his bag for a paper clip. Picking locks is possibly the most lucrative skill Jaehwan learned in his four years of college. 

 

He goes back to Jinyoung's room -  he's been to their house enough, now, that he knows at least where the rooms are, even though he's only actually been in there once - and knocks quietly. "Hyung?" he calls. 

 

"Just come in." Minhyun sounds exhausted. "Oh, I know, Jinyoung, baby, I know…" 

 

Jaehwan opens the door. Jinyoung is huddled in Minhyun's arms, whimpering. 

 

"I know, I know, sweetie," Minhyun whispers, stroking Jinyoung's hair. "He woke up saying his head hurt and that he felt nauseous. And he has a 102 fever."

 

"Poor kid," concurs Jaehwan. 

 

"You didn't have to come now," Minhyun says. 

 

"If you're going to work tomorrow, which. Given what you've said about your boss, I can only assume that you are, you shouldn't be going in on no sleep," Jaehwan explains. "I'll sit up with him. You sleep." 

 

"I -"

 

"Hyung," repeats Jaehwan. "Go to bed." He walks over to Jinyoung's bed and sits down next to them. Minhyun gives Jinyoung a quick kiss on the head and goes to leave, but the kid makes a wordless whine of protest. "Hey, listen," Jaehwan tells him. "Appa needs to sleep. Is it okay if I sit up with you?" Jinyoung thinks for a moment, and then nods slowly. Minhyun still seems unsure. "Go," says Jaehwan. "We'll be okay. If something happens that I can't handle, I'll come get you." This pacifices Minhyun enough to get him out of the room entirely. 

 

Jaehwan wraps Jinyoung in his arms, feeling how hot the boy is, and how much he's shivering. "You cold, Jinyoung?" he asks. 

 

"Mm hmm," Jinyoung answers. He burrows closer to Jaehwan. Jaehwan doesn't see Jinyoung often, and knows that he's shy around people he doesn't know well, but he's clearly cold, exhausted, and sick, and will take whatever kind of comfort that's offered. 

 

"You must be tired, too, yeah?" Jaehwan asks. 

 

"My head hurts," Jinyoung whimpers. 

 

"I know, your dad told me," Jaehwan confirms. 

 

"And my tummy… auhhh…" He breaks off, starting to cry. 

 

"Do you feel like you're gonna throw up? Do you need a trash can?" asks Jaehwan. 

 

"Yeah," Jinyoung answers, and Jaehwan gets up in a flash and grabs the small aluminum trash can. He sits back down and pulls Jinyoung in his lap, then shoves the trash can in front of the kid. 

 

Five minutes later, Jaehwan is rubbing Jinyoung's back soothingly as he throws up. "Hey," he murmurs as it subsides. "Can we go to the bathroom and clean you up? Is that okay?" Jaehwan doesn't know how to handle a sick elementary schooler, but he's pretty sure that brushing his teeth and maybe washing his face would be a good idea right now. 

 

Jinyoung sighs and retches again into the trash can. He lets out a little moan, and god, Jaehwan feels so sorry for the kid right now. He's five years old and absolutely miserable, and the flu sucks for everyone but especially for little kids who can't quite do things on their own yet. "Only when you're done," he promises. "Can you tell me when you're done?" He keeps his arm around Jinyoung and lets him lean into his chest. He gets some throw-up on Jaehwan's shirt, but that's okay - once he's asleep Jaehwan will just go and take one of Minhyun's. 

 

Jinyoung takes a few uncertain breaths and then tugs at Jaehwan's shirt. "I'm done," he whispers. 

 

Jaehwan sets the trash can on the floor and picks up Jinyoung, then gets up and walks into the bathroom. He sets the kid down on the toilet seat and stares dumbly at the bathroom for a second. 

 

"Kiddo," he finally asks. "Where do you keep your washcloths?" 

 

"Under the sink," Jinyoung answers. Jaehwan opens the cabinet and, yep, Jinyoung is right. (Well, it is his house. Of course he is.) He scans the sink and opens the mirror, eventually finding a toothbrush and toothpaste that look like they belong to a five year old. He squeezes toothpaste on and hands the brush to Jinyoung, who obligingly starts brushing his teeth, then turns on the cold water faucet and runs the washcloth under it. 

 

After a minute, Jinyoung is staring at Jaehwan expectantly, so he picks him up and carries him over to the sink to spit out. "You're probably super light-headed," Jaehwan explains, needlessly, because Jinyoung probably doesn't care. "I'm not going to try and make you walk around right now." 

 

He sets him back on the toilet seat and rinses off his face. Jinyoung flinches at the cold, but Jaehwan thinks that, since he's overheated, the cold water might be better in the long run. When he's done, Jaehwan hangs up the washcloth and wets another one. You're supposed to put it on people's heads, right? 

 

Jaehwan really does not know anything about taking care of sick people, especially kids, and he definitely should not be here. 

 

Before they go back to the bedroom, Jaehwan strips off both their shirts - Jinyoung's because he's noticed the kid is sweating like a racehorse and wearing that can't be comfy, and his own because he doesn't want to get vomit residue on the kid when he's just cleaned him up. 

 

But when he takes off Jinyoung's shirt, he sees the scars. 

 

Minhyun had mentioned them, that both of them had lasting physical remnants of the accident, but it's a hell of a lot different to see them, one cutting across his left shoulder, one like a spiderweb reaching from his lower back around to his stomach. Jaehwan's felt another one, too, under his hair. It shocks Jaehwan enough that he sits down on the floor for a moment, staring, his head spinning. 

 

It's like this. Minhyun has told him this, Jaehwan knows, he doesn't understand why exactly this is so arresting now. It happened like this. The car flipped, his lower body got tangled in the baby seat and he was cut where the window glass broke, and he hit his head hard enough to screw up some major shit. 

 

But it's hard, for Jaehwan, who's never experienced anything particularly traumatic in his life, to connect what Minhyun told him to this, to the scar tissue marring the body of someone so little, to spasticity and weakness and balance and anxiety, to  _ seeing it in front of him _ . 

 

He takes his moment to breathe, squeezes his eyes shut, and shakes his head like a dog as though he can physically put his thoughts back on track. He is not allowed to freak out right now, because the object of his freaking-out has the flu and is also five years old and likely really does not appreciate the delay in being cared for. Jaehwan can have a crisis later. 

 

"Alright, kiddo," Jaehwan says, picking Jinyoung back up again. Jaehwan's own skin is soft, and he feels the irregularity of Jinyoung's against it. He also feels how hot the poor kid is. It's kind of scary. And the shivering, holy fuck. Jaehwan just wants to make the flu go away because it's clearly making Jinyoung miserable. 

 

He nestles his head into Jaehwan's shoulder and Jaehwan holds him closer as they walk back. "I've got you, it's okay," he murmurs, he isn't sure for whose benefit. 

 

"Samchon," Jinyoung whimpers. "Hurts." 

 

"Your head?" he clarifies. 

 

"Mm hmm." 

 

"Oh, I know… I'm sorry you're hurting, Jinyoungie," Jaehwan soothes. He opens the door to the bedroom and sits down on the bed, Jinyoung still in his arms. "Would it help to drink some water, do you think?" he asks, intent on making the child drink something no matter what his answer is. Thankfully, Jinyoung nods, which makes Jaehwan's job infinitely easier - he doesn't have the emotional capacity to argue right now. "Can I leave you here and go get it, or do you want to come with me?"

 

"Come with you," Jinyoung responds. Jaehwan just sits there for a second, holding him - they just sat down, Jaehwan doesn't know why he's made any of the decisions he's made in the past half hour he's been here - and then gets up again. 

 

He keeps holding Jinyoung as they walk into the kitchen, as he gets down a cup and fills it with water from the dispenser single-handedly. He sets the water on the floor when they go back in the bedroom, folds the washcloth (still cool, thankfully, despite Jaehwan and Jinyoung's little detour), and places it on Jinyoung's forehead. 

 

"Let's just lie down for a minute, hm?" he says, settling Jinyoung into a horizontal position. "And then we'll drink some water and maybe try to sleep some." Jinyoung obliges. Minhyun has said, before, that Jinyoung has a remarkably agreeable personality, and Jaehwan is so so thankful for it now. 

 

Jinyoung lays in Jaehwan's lap for about five minutes, then Jaehwan checks the washcloth and finds that it isn't cool anymore. "Hey," he whispers, jostling Jinyoung a little bit in a further bid to get his attention. "How about drinking something now, okay?" Jaehwan pulls him into a seated position and leans Jinyoung against his chest, then reaches down for the water. 

 

As he places the cup in Jinyoung's hands, he notices how they shake like they belong to someone decades older. Something about this image brings a surge of protectiveness to him. 

 

Is this what being a parent is like? This… desire, for lack of a better word, or need, to hold and comfort and protect from the world, this feeling that he should bear the pain and illness instead of Jinyoung. Is this how Minhyun feels all the time? 

 

Jinyoung finishes the water and drops it down next to Jaehwan on the bed. Jaehwan sets it on the floor. "Can we try to sleep, kiddo?" he asks softly. 

 

"My head," Jinyoung whines again.

 

"It might be better if you sleep," Jaehwan wheedles. Jinyoung just whimpers. "Yeah, kid, it sucks. Don't tell your dad I said this, but it sucks ass to be sick. But it'll make your appa feel a hell of a lot better if you try to sleep. Got it?" 

 

Jinyoung nods. Jaehwan pulls up the covers and huddles the two of them underneath, lying down. He's still shivering, so Jaehwan pulls him close. Jinyoung doesn't seem to mind - in fact, he makes a quiet, content noise in his throat. 

 

Jaehwan thinks. He doesn't have much experience with kids - Youngmin and Donghyun had other preferred babysitters, and Jaehwan is an only child and so never had siblings or children of siblings to care for. 

 

But then something strikes him. 

 

Jaehwan had been in a children's choir as a kid. The lullaby he sings to Jinyoung is a Christmas carol, one for female voices, but it was so so pretty and he thought it would work to help him calm down. 

 

He must have been so tired, poor kid, because he falls asleep quick once Jaehwan starts singing. Jaehwan watches him for a while. Watches him just breathe. 

 

If this is what parenting feels like, Jaehwan definitely wants to do it someday. He falls asleep himself a few minutes later. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think i guess
> 
> a lot of people also wanted the 2hyun prequel when i asked, that is coming! but this series is going to be put on the bac burner for a bit because i want to write a little bit of canon compliant stuff and also have to get my produce remake back on track for when i can have a reliable update schedule again so! the 2hyun fic and the adopting-a-second-kid fic will take some time because they will likely be longer and also i need to research the adoption process more because i dont know anything about it (im really flying blind in this series damn remind me again why i started writing this) AND i dont know where to start with the 2hyun thing so if anyone has helpful things to say comment or something! or my tumblr is got-me-feelin so you could also yell at me there


End file.
